Deepening Your Relationships

 Alex Maunder, BSc, Dip STAT, Focusing Trainer (TFI), Co-ordinator in Training.

https://youtu.be/7GHH0y1PNLg?si=cMkgYzD6HuKlk_zK

I originally trained as an Alexander Technique Teacher in 1988 and worked in London for many years as a professional AT Teacher. This gave me a deep love for body work, a sensitivity to energy flow and a profound respect for the wisdom of the body. In 2002 I published a very well-received book called “Let Your Life Flow – The Physical, Psychological and Spiritual Benefits of the Alexander Technique” (C W Daniel, 2002) where I also devoted a chapter to Focusing. This book was praised by the Wholebody Focusing Teacher, Kevin McEvenue , who I trained with and he qualified me as a Focusing Trainer (TFI) in 2017. This was followed by my second book “Wholebody Focusing, Neural Pathways to Prosperity, Health and Wisdom” (Amazon Books, 2017). I have been working as a Wholebody Focusing Trainer ever since, giving private sessions, running online courses and residential workshops. I also ran a successful week-long WBF residential workshop at the Findhorn Foundation from 2013 – 2018.

Deepening your Relationships

This course will be divided into 5 sessions for five different topics:

1. Your partner is nervous because of a presentation. You can effectively support Him/Her by listening to what’s coming in terms of their emotional reaction to this forthcoming event.
   Listening to your partner in a Focusing way can help to shift the fear, move the process forward and get back the excitement. Model this behaviour, start with yourself, Ask for a short Focusing session…
   Always give an example ! E.g. I’m feeling Sad , angry , helpless, or hopeless,…I’m not feeling myself, can you just give me 15 mins to listen to me ?
2. When your partner says something difficult, Something hard to hear..Something triggereing….STOP, PAUSE, create space in your body, and then you can listen, and take on board, appreciate the truth of what your partner has said. Repeat back so they know you got it….Then stand your ground and say what you need to say, what your deepest truth is.
   Then there is a real contact and a real meeting taking place.
   This will give you a chance to stay in connection rather than cutting off and wriggling away…..There is a fear of being genuine, authentic and vulnerable as opposed to wearing a mask.
3. What to do if your partner does not want to engage in deepening your relationship? Solo Focusing! Normally we get so caught up in it & it’s always the partners fault ! With Focusing we find that part that we are responsible for and that’s the bit that we can change.
4. I miss something in our connection today. I’m longing for something deeper. I can stop, pause, create space and drop inside. Make a conscious effort to connect energetically! Also in the morning, I can start the day with the Q: What’s stopping me feeling perfect right now ? This is a short solo Focusing session in bed.  Also seek out the spaces where it is possible to practice Focusing in everyday situations.
5. We only grow through relationships! When I first heard this my ego rebelled. “I can work it out alone ! I’m clever enough ! I can figure this out on my own. But, when I can drop down into a very deep level and try to articulate who I am and what I am feeling right now, and you as my partner are listening and trying to feel it too…There is a rejoicing about being in this expanded space where we are connected and deep transformation is happening. You get me and something inside me rejoices ! Empathic Listening may seem simple, but it is actually taking place from a much deeper level of consciousness. Also the ability to transform our inner parts and the capacity for them to relate in a harmonious whole is exactly what happens when I (as a part) then relate to my partner in a relationship, or to the group as a whole in a community.